After spending many years in Vietnam, I’ve come to one rather comforting conclusion: curiosity doesn’t get old.
As for love… well, love has never been particularly interested in birth certificates. It has a habit of turning up whenever it feels like it, often when you least expect it. And if you happen to be learning Vietnamese at the same time, it may also leave you wondering whether people are talking about romance, fishing, bears or even carpentry!
One of the things I enjoy most about Vietnamese is its remarkable creativity. Everyday conversations are full of colourful slang that you’ll never find in a traditional language course. These expressions are especially common when people talk about love and relationships, and once you understand them, you’ll hear them everywhere—from cafés and university campuses to Facebook, TikTok and everyday chats.
Here are ten of my favourites.
1. Soái ca (Mr Perfect)
Every culture seems to manufacture its own romantic archetype. In Vietnam, that figure is the soái ca.
He is handsome, intelligent, accomplished, attentive, impeccably mannered—and apparently awakens each morning looking as though he’s just wandered off the set of a K-drama.
Examples
Anh ấy đúng là soái ca.
He’s the absolute Mr Perfect.
Mọi cô gái đều thích một soái ca.
Every girl dreams of a Mr Perfect.
Fortunately, real life tends to offer considerably fewer soái ca than the television schedules suggest.
2. Sát gái (Lady-Killer)
If someone is branded sát gái, there is no need to alert the authorities.
It simply means he possesses an almost unnatural success with women—a smooth operator who always seems to know precisely the right line at the right moment.
Examples
Anh ấy nổi tiếng là sát gái.
He’s renowned as a lady-killer.
Đừng tin anh ấy. Anh ấy sát gái lắm.
Don’t trust him. He’s a real charmer.
Whether that description is intended as a compliment or a caution depends entirely on who is doing the talking.
3. Kết (To Fancy Someone)
Sometimes romance can be wonderfully straightforward.
When you kết someone, you simply like them and would be perfectly happy to explore things further.
Examples
Anh kết em rồi.
I really fancy you.
Mình kết cô ấy từ lần gặp đầu tiên.
I fancied her from the very first moment we met.
Think of it as the instant when those metaphorical butterflies begin to stir.
4. Say nắng / Cảm nắng (To Have a Crush)
Literally, these phrases translate as “to suffer sunstroke”.
Romantically, however, they describe the sudden onset of a crush on someone.
Apparently, in Vietnam, solar exposure poses risks beyond mere sunburn.
Examples
Mình lỡ cảm nắng cô ấy mất rồi.
I’ve accidentally developed a crush on her.
Bạn đang yêu hay chỉ cảm nắng?
Are you genuinely in love, or is it just a crush?
This remains one of my favourite Vietnamese metaphors.
5. Gấu (Bear) – Your Partner
Do not panic if a Vietnamese friend proudly introduces you to their gấu. They have not brought an actual grizzly along for afternoon tea.
Literally meaning bear or teddy bear, gấu is an endearing colloquialism for one’s boyfriend, girlfriend, or partner.
Examples
Cuối tuần mình đi chơi với gấu.
I’m heading out with my partner this weekend.
Đây là gấu của mình.
This is my other half.
It is one of the sweetest and most commonly used slang terms among young Vietnamese.
6. Đào mỏ (Gold Digger)
Literally translating as “to mine for ore”, đào mỏ has absolutely nothing to do with geology or excavation.
It refers to someone whose romantic interest is fuelled more by financial gain than by genuine affection.
Examples
Cô ấy chỉ yêu anh vì tiền. Đúng là đào mỏ.
She only loves him for his money. She’s a proper gold-digger.
Đừng trở thành kẻ đào mỏ.
Don’t become a gold-digger.
Regrettably, this is one expression that requires no cultural translation whatsoever.
7. Cưa / Cua (To Woo Someone)
Literally meaning “to saw”, cưa paints an unexpectedly vivid picture.
The idea is that you patiently persist—sawing away, as it were—until the other person finally đổ (falls for you).
Examples
Anh ấy đang cưa Mai.
He’s trying to win Mai’s heart.
Anh ấy chưa cưa đổ cô ấy.
He hasn’t managed to win her over just yet.
Romance, it seems, sometimes demands perseverance… and possibly a very sharp saw.
8. Đổ (To Fall for Someone)
The verb đổ literally means “to fall over”.
In matters of the heart, it simply means falling in love.
Examples
Cuối cùng cô ấy cũng đổ anh ấy.
Eventually she fell for him.
Anh ấy đổ cô ấy từ lâu rồi.
He’s been head over heels for her for ages.
Fortunately, this particular kind of tumble rarely requires medical attention.
9. Thả thính (Casting the Bait)
This might well be the most imaginative expression of the entire collection.
Originally, thính is a type of bait used in fishing. So thả thính literally means “to cast bait”.
In modern Vietnamese vernacular, however, it means flirting—dropping hints, posting alluring photographs, or leaving clever comments in the hope that someone will take the bait.
Examples
Cô ấy thích thả thính trên Facebook.
She enjoys flirting on Facebook.
Đừng thả thính lung tung.
Stop casting your bait at everyone.
Social media, it would appear, has become the world’s largest fishing pond.
10. Cắm sừng (To Cheat)
We conclude with the least romantic expression of the lot.
Literally translated as “to put horns on someone”, cắm sừng means to be unfaithful to your partner.
The imagery exists across several cultures and universally signifies betrayal.
Examples
Anh ấy bị bạn gái cắm sừng.
His girlfriend cheated on him.
Đừng bao giờ cắm sừng người mình yêu.
Never betray the person you love.
Definitely one expression you hope never to encounter in your own life.
More Than Just Slang
What fascinates me about these expressions isn’t simply that they’re amusing.
They reveal something about the Vietnamese way of seeing the world. Bears become lovers. Sunshine becomes infatuation. Fishing becomes flirting. Falling over becomes falling in love. Even woodworking somehow finds its place in romance.
Language is far more than grammar and vocabulary—it’s a window into a culture.
And that’s one of the reasons I never tire of learning Vietnamese. Just when I think I’ve finally caught up, someone casually drops another piece of slang that leaves me smiling… and occasionally reaching for my dictionary.
So, the next time a Vietnamese friend tells you they’re thả thính, don’t offer them a fishing rod.
They’re almost certainly trying to catch something entirely different.